Death as a Motivator
Death is an interesting subject and just thinking about it can make us uncomfortable. Coming to terms with our own mortality is something that every single one of us has to do. Some cultures embrace death, whereas for others, it gets swept under the rug and not discussed openly. In this post I want to talk about how we can use death as a motivating force in our lives (in a positive way) and highlight how becoming aware of our mortality can enhance our lives.
The Stoic Philosophers of Ancient Greece and Rome used to contemplate death regularly. Epictetus and Markus Aurelius advise us to mediate on death each day. By contemplating our mortality, we can make sure that our behaviour is more consistent. If we knew that today was going to be our last day on earth, how would we act? Would we want people to remember us as the person who got angry with the barista in Starbucks for putting soya milk instead of almond milk in our latte? The small and insignificant things don’t seem to matter so much in the shadow of death. We should strive to be the best we possibly can be because we never know when our last day might be.
Looking at things from a bigger perspective can help us to lighten the burdens we carry day to day. Is what you’re so worked up about right now really going to matter on your death bed? Do those petty problems really need to have that much of your time, energy and focus? Adopting this expansive view on life is a great way to eliminate the pettiness in our lives. We can see that in the long run, it doesn’t really matter and that we should only focus on what’s important to us. Knowing that we could depart this world at any minute should force us to take action right now. We should declare our love to the people we care about, we should start the project we’ve been putting off and we should take that risk we’ve been thinking about. Death makes all of this seem irrelevant so we might as well focus on living our best possible life immediately. This can be an extremely motivating force. I mean, look at how fast you would run if a bull started to charge towards you! We should try and bring some of that momentum into other areas of our lives. In a way, we have an invisible bull charging towards us (death). Using this as a way to stay focused can be very helpful.
One of my favourite sources of positivity these days is to watch and listen to Gary Vaynerchuck talk. He’s wildly positive and optimistic about life and if you don’t know who he is, I highly recommend that you give him a few minutes of your time (YouTube or Instagram would be a great place to start). I’m confident that you won’t regret it! One of Gary’s daily practises, which strikes quite a lot of people when they first hear it, is that he graphically visualises the death of the most important people in his life on a daily basis. He imagines how unimportant the minutiae of day to day life would be in the face of losing his loved ones. Gary then flips it and focuses on the fact that this hasn’t happened. He becomes extremely grateful that he has these people in his life. This exercise helps him to put everything into perspective. The death of the people he loves is his benchmark for what matters. Gratitude is cultivated by focusing on what we might lose and can allow us to appreciate what we have with more intensity.
If we contemplate our own death and the death of those we love, it can help us to become clearer about life. Ultimately, I think that death can teach us how to live. If we remember that we have a finite amount of time on this planet, we can start to prioritise what’s important to us. It’s then a matter of going out and doing it. What have we got to lose? Death doesn’t have to be morbid. It should be a powerful and motivating force in our lives. If we can reframe our relationship with dying, we too can live a more Stoic, present and grateful existence.
“Memento mori
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